It'll be ok...

So I'm chillin' at the hotel, motel, Spring Hill Suites! Watching NCIS (my fave) & full on Red Robin (Yuuuuuuum). Tomorrow I go to orientation. I'm so nervous. I'm so excited. I'm so nervous. Did I mention I'm nervous? Fear of the unknown kills me. I'm certain that it'll be worth it. I'm certain it will be painful. All of my usual confidence has left me. I feel insecure. I feel needy. I wish my Chihuahuas were here because I could use some snuggles. Or a hug. Maybe both. I feel a pretty alone in my anxiety... I'd feel very alone if it wasn't for my dear friend Jessica.

It really is a unique situation. I have an opportunity to reach my goals. I should be nothing but excited! BUT my goals require hard work. My mortgage requires payment. My car requires payment. I require sleep. I require exercise. Somethings going to give and I fear what it will be. It'll probably be my sanity. I know I can do it, because I have to do it. I have given myself no other option. I will keep all my balls in the air. Well, maybe not my sanity. People seem to not understand why I would do this to myself. The fact is, without this degree chances are I will never be more than I am. I refuse to top out at 25. Refuse. That being said, it is NOT helpful when people say things like, "That will be so hard." "I could never do it!" "WOW, I don't envy you!" Intentions are good, but not reassuring.

I just need to be told it will be ok.

Nut Case

The anticipation of school is becoming increasingly unbearable as the time draws nearer. It just needs to start! I'm dying! I've noticed some typical Stefani-isms beginning...

1. I don't want to talk about it, because I'll cry.
2. Being around people who love me sounds painful... cuz they might ask about it.
3. Anything outside of my "plan" or habits is extremely annoying and stressful.
4. I want to sleep, eat bad, or organize like a crack head.... at all times.

I know that the anticipation will be over soon. Then I'll be into a routine. For now, however, I'm a nut case...

New Goals = New Plan

Oooooeeee! What a weekend! I have so much to talk about. So many thoughts. So much good! BUT first, let’s talk about how I really suck at budgeting.

Well, I don’t completely suck, but I’ll do well for a while. Then my occasional “splurge” snowballs into spending like I am not a social worker. Except that I am a social worker… THUS, creating a problem.

Last week I decided to do the worst and best thing I’ve ever done in my financial life. Seriously, it was genius! And so very, very painful.

I wrote out every single place I spent money, and how much I spent for the last 3 months. I did it by hand. I felt ever last number. I won’t post a picture of my actual write out, but here’s a basic format I used.

Place		May		June		July		Total
Fred Meyers		1 Million Dollars		2 Million Dollars		My First Born		In Debt Forever
Costco		Does a Single		Person Really		Need to Buy		In Bulk
Shell		I’m Glad That		I Get Good Gas		Millage		Still Too Much

Seriously, the Fred Meyer numbers were BAD!

This taught me a few things.

1.       I like variety. There were few places that I spent money at in all 3 months. I apparently like to switch up my money spending environments.

2.       Apparently those $5-$10 purchases actually do add up. Quickly. Those are probably the ones that I justify the most too.

3.       I am never allowed in Fred Meyer without cash again. There is just too much goodness all in one store!

Currently, my ultimate goals it pay down/off my credit cards and get Lasik eye surgery. I anticipate that it might take a while, but it will be worth it. Here are 4 things I’m going to do in the meantime to work towards that goal…

1.       Meal plan. Meal plan. Meal plan. That way I am only buying food I need, and I only go into the store one time. The more I go into the store the more I am tempted by all the things on the shelves.

2.       I’m going to limit the stores I go to. My hope is that by going into the same stores all the “new and exciting” things I find in stores will become mundane. I, mean, if you’re always seeing the same things it has to get boring eventually.

3.       Everything I’ve read says “Use Cash!” So, I’m going to try to use cash at all stores. I refuse to give up my online bill paying.

4.       I’m going to be diligent in tracking my spending over the course of the next 3 months. I might even get more detailed. What items am I exactly spending money on?

I will get Lasik! If it’s the last thing I do!

Excited!

Recently I've started looking past getting my Masters and looking towards the possibilities that having my Masters will bring to my life. I am so insanely excited about the possibilities.

I think I'm ready for an adventure. Ready to get out of Twin Falls. Ready to see the world. Perhaps I'll move to another state. Perhaps I'll start a journey of moving to another state every five years. I don't know... but I'm getting stoked. I know that life is going to turn out even more awesome than I could have ever anticipated. All thanks to a piece of paper!