Let me start out with mentioning that I have had a pretty rough few weeks at work. I've been told several times that I don't know how to do my job, threatened with a lawyer, and basically been made to feel guilty over things that are out of my control. Granted, this is from no one who really matters. My boss is my biggest supporter. I even have the two highest ups on the "food chain" backing me regarding all the decisions I've made. I know that my job is in no way in jeopardy. I know that I've made decisions that are not only necessary for the betterment of my clients but reflective of our beliefs and policies as an agency. BUT it still sucks. I like to be liked. I'm not going to lie. I don't like when people dislike me. I don't. I'm not sure who does. It sucks being told that you're doing things wrong. It sucks when your judgement is called into question because of your age or how long you've been working the job. It sucks. It hurts. It's frustrating. It's angering. It's maddening. It's ... Well... You get the picture.
During all of this I really am thankful for CrossFit for a few reasons...
1. I've been eating better, because eating good gives me a sense of control. My work days have seemed pretty out of control, but I can control what I put in my body. It helps me feel rooted, balanced, like I'm not going to explode and fly away.
2. Exercise is said to be as powerful as an anti-depressant. If this is true then CrossFit is like a straight up Xanax. (That's the super powerful one, right?)
BUT it's more than just those things, because I really believe that there's more to CrossFit then just exercise and eating right. Well, there is for me anyways.
3. CrossFit is the opportunity for success when I'm feeling like a failure. It's proving to myself that I can make progress, and hard work pays off.
4. CrossFit is a place where I know I'll be supported and encouraged. Not going to lie, some days you just need your friends to count your reps and push you. It also feels dang good when people notice your accomplishments, and their compliments are genuine. (Seriously, complements on my snatch make me feel way better about myself then complements about eyes. I worked for that snatch, my eyes are just a gift from God. :) Haha... but seriously. I work hard everyday and it's nice to hear people notice.)
5. CrossFit is a place for laughs. I know that I'm bound to laugh at some point. I know that I'm going to see the smiling faces of my friends. I know that we're going to suffer together and celebrate together.
6. CrossFit is where people see you at your WORST and still are glad to see you day after day! Seriously, I have probably shed more tears at the box then in my room in the last 6 months. I have sweat more in front of those people then in front of anyone ever. I have been frustrated, angry, disappointed, etc. They still love me. Or at least pretend, so that's good enough for me. :)
7. CrossFit is a place that I can be myself. Fully and completely.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that CrossFit is the time I get every day (except Thursday and Sunday rest days) that helps me to feel grounded. That allows me to rebuild my crushed confidence. That reminds me that there are good people in the world. CrossFit helps me survive. I know it sounds extreme, but it's true. I really believe that everyone needs their outlet. Especially those who in jobs like mine.
With that said, big shout out to my CrossFit friends who manage to make nearly every day at the box a refreshing and renewing experience. It's like you give me daily hugs, except not really. That's OK though, because we're all usually pretty sweaty... and well no need for things to get weird. :)
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