Do I need those numbers?

Ok... I'm going to say it... 

I look effing fantastic. 

I posted this on Facebook on March 13. My one year Crossfit Anniversary. There are so many things in this picture that show me how far I've come.

- My lunge is all the way to the ground. 

- My face is way slimmer. 

- My boobs have shrunk.

- You can see definition in my back calf.

- My giant roll is less giant.

-I'm wearing shorts and a tank top! (Two things I would not workout in for the first little bit.)

It's all so exciting! 

Then there is this picture...

And this picture...

That dress is an Extra Large &&& it fits! I didn't squeeze in it. You couldn't see every indentation of every roll. I could breath in it. I could dance in it. I was 100% comfortable in that dress.

This time last year I would have been suffocating in that dress, assuming I could get it on. And it certainly wouldn't even begin to look good on me. 

I know that I have come SO FAR this year and I know that next year I will see these pictures say the same thing. (Because this story isn't over folks!!!)

There is still the ever present question... "How much weight have you lost?" 

As of November I had lost a total of 24lbs. My assumption is that I'm up to somewhere around 30lbs, but I have no idea. NO IDEA! 

The first time I allowed myself to be weighed in this journey was March 20th, 2013. Since then there have been a few teary weigh ins. Sometimes happy tears. Sometimes tears of frustration with myself because I had fallen off the wagon. This week I could get my official 1 year numbers, and I know that I've been doing really well lately.

For the last few weeks I've been asking, "Do I really want those numbers? Do I need those numbers? What would I do with those numbers?"

Do I want those numbers? Yes, I want to see how far I've come. &&& No, because if I haven't lost as much as I think I've lost I'll be super upset. 

Do I need those numbers? No. Those numbers will not change the fact that I rocked that dress last night. Those numbers will not change who I am. Those numbers will not be able tell me anything that I don't already know. I know when my diet is on and when it's off. Those numbers don't have to tell me that. 

What would I do with those numbers? Hide them or post them on here. Maybe brag about them. Maybe cry about them. Pretty much nothing productive. I wouldn't be proving anything that people can't see. I don't have a "goal weight", so the information is pretty much pointless to me. 

That being said... I will NOT step on the scale this week. I'm happy, why ruin that? I know what I need to do. I know what I'm doing. I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

If there is a reason to weigh myself sometime in the next year, I might do it. BUT for now I'm content with the progress I know I've made.

BAM!