Cookin' Fails

I'm a good cook. A good freakin' cook. This week, however, I have FAILED at everything I've tried to make. Well, not that I didn't make it right... I just did not like it. 

It started Saturday when I made a creamy tomato chicken soup. It looked delicious, but there was WAY too much chicken and the chicken was dry. Very dry. 

Then Sunday I made homemade apple sauce and squash bread with Banana squash. The apple sauce had too much cinnamon. The squash bread was gross. Well, not gross. It just had a weird texture. It was made with almond flour. I've decided almond flower isn't my thing. 

Yesterday, I made banana squash and leek soup with bacon. It was OK, but really didn't hit the spot. 

Today, I made prosciutto wrapped fennel. First of all, prosciutto is EFFING EXPENSIVE! Seriously, it's about a dollar per paper thin slice. Well, not quite but pretty freaking close. And it's so salty! I really don't think I'll ever buy it again. Maybe my taste buds are simple, but I'd much rather have bacon. And fennel. Well... Yea... not my thing. &&& I made my super yummy honey roasted nuts and didn't use enough honey. 

WTF!!! 

Seriously, I'm so frustrated. I don't even want to eat because nothing sounds good. I know I need to eat though, so I do. Even if I don't like it. 

I'm kind of frustrated and just need some good food. 

Tomorrow, I'm going to health-ify KFC's mashed potato bowl. Stay tuned. Hopefully tomorrow is a success! 

Bountiful Basket!!!

For those of you who have never heard of Bountiful Baskets, you should really check them out. It's as easy as clicking HERE. I got my first basket today and I'm STOKED!!! Here are the goods... 

Does that look fantastic or what??? &&& ALL  of this (including a bunch of Bananas that got cut out) was only $15!!! There are a few extra fees ($3 for first timers and $4 for processing). Still though. Try to get all this stuff at the grocery store for that price. PLUS, you never know what you're going to get, so it's the perfect excuse to try out new recipes and really expand your Paleo recipes. BOOM! 

This week there were these little fellows... 

I had NO idea what they were. Shout out to my Facebook friends who helped. They're persimmons. Based on some Pinterest searching I'm going to try to make Persimmon Chicken. I'm pretty excited about the situation. Wish me luck. 

I also got lentils. I first thought they were leeks. I had never had either. Turns out they weren't leeks. I'm a bit nervous to try those, but my dear friend Ruth guided me towards Prosciutto wrapped leeks. That sounds safe right? Imma try it!!! 

With the rest of the pile I'm still brain storming what to do. I definitely think tonight's snacky will be a yummy fruit salad. Mmmm... So much yumminess in this pile. 

I'll keep you updated on what I do and how it turns out!!! 

I did already start in on the loot... 

My favorite thing ever. YUMMM!!!

Never Done...

Not gonna lie.

Not happy with the way I look in the one WOD pic I saw for today. I'm dreading all the others.

However, there are a few things I've learned in Crossfit.

1. You're never "done". Just about the time that you think you're done Kristin will say "Good Job! Now, make sure your hamis are loaded and your core is hallow" or "Stefani, that was a nice curl, but now I need you to clean the weight." SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE JUST SO MANY RULES!!!

2. The only person who can make changes is you. Everyone else is there to help, but no body can force you to squat lower, run faster, or lift heavier. You have to do it all by yourself.

3. Everyone has their kryptonite! (Is that how you spell that???) Seriously, even my most super heroic friends. (We have quite a few that I'm pretty sure could move buildings if they tried... Maybe we should try!)

What does that all have to do with me not being pleased with those pictures???

WELL, that means it's time to get back on the straight and narrow. There ain't not "bulking season for this girl". Well... there was, but it was like 24 years long... I think I probably have another 24 years before I can justify another bulking seasons.

Like most things in Crossfit, I am going to attempt the impossible!!! I am going to try to be on the straight and narrow through the holidays!!! (Oooooooo... Ahhhhhhh....) I promised myself that by 25 I would look better than 24 (So far I'm doing pretty well... but I'm not done!), and by golly I don't like breaking promises. Especially to myself. Nobody else likes when I break promises to myself either, because it usually ends in tears. Ha.

Anyways, I think that the only way to really conquer the holidays is to set myself some rules. I am one of those people who thrives in structure. If I just say "I'm going to eat clean" I will make sure there's not dust on my ice cream before I eat it. (This is best done by eating an entire carton at one time.) SO I have to give myself rules to avoid the previous situation. I wish someone else would give me rules though, but I suppose when you become an ad*lt (I hate that word) you have to have some self discipline or some shit like that. Now, if you see me being a cheater, cheater pumpkin (pie) eater, please throw something at my head. #KTHANKS.

1. I can only have planned cheats. This means that I can't just be goin' around cheatin' cuz I feel like it. I have to plan my cheats. For example: Next weekend I'm pumpkin carving with my familia (that's family, for all of you non-Mexicans... Hehehe). We're going to eat taco soup (straight from the homeland), and by golly I will be eating it with all the fixin's. However, tomorrow I can't just go buy ice cream cuz I feel like it. It is not planned!!! Let's say that I have to plan at least a week a head of time and put it on my calendar. BOOM!

2. In situations where I am randomly not in a good-food-friendly environment I have to make the very best choices possible. This means if my boss comes to town and we go to lunch, I can't order pizza just because. I have to get a salad. OR if I'm at some kind of Christmas Party I will choose foods that best match my health goals, and will avoid things like brownies, candy, cookies, etc.

3. I can eat candy ONLY on Halloween Day. 

4. I have a 3 day window around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Meaning, I can cheat the day before, the day, and the day after. After that it's back on track. (Don't worry, I will undo all progress in those 6 days.)

5. I can drink on New Years cuz I like New Years. #DONTJUDGEME

6. I will prepare Paleo friendly foods to take with me when possible and appropriate. 

So, that's the deal with myself. I'm not going to weigh myself before or anything like that. I'm simply going to do this, because I want to feel good about myself. I know that if I eat well and train hard then I will see the results I want!

Feel free to join!

PS: My other goal by my birthday is to jump on a box. Without crying. Ha! To do this I wrote myself a box jumping program. It starts out ridiculous, so don't judge me when I'm at the box jumping 2 inches. It's all part of the process. And I will jump on a mother effing box.

Paleo Pulled Pork and Coleslaw

I know, I know... It sounds too good to be true. 

You're right. It is. 

But it's almost true! And I'm pretty certain it could be true with the right tweeks. 

Here's how it went though... 

PULLED PORK - This recipe came from my mom. Her recipe called for a roast that's about 6lbs. Since I am one person, I got a smaller roast and adjusted the measurements. I also changed out the brown sugar for honey. (Fun Fact: She served this at my high school graduation!)

2.5 Pork Picnic Roast

1 Can Tomatoes

1/4 Cup Honey

1/4 Cup Vinegar

***The Not Paleo Part***

1/4 Cup Worcestershire Sauce

1/4 Cup Soy Sauce

Take all that stuff and throw it in the crock-pot. I left mine in for a bout 6 hours. My guess is that you can sub out the Worcestershire Sauce and Soy Sauce BUT I was too lazy to research if they were Paleo or not. I figure if that's the worse thing I eat I'm doing A-O-K! 

COLESLAW - I used this Paleo Mayo recipe from Gone for a Run. I did tweek it a bit. I did not use the mustard seed. I HATE MUSTARD! I also pretty much used this Coleslaw recipe from the primal food blog, but I tweeked it. 

1 Bag of Coleslaw mix (I am not a good chopper)

5 Tbs Paleo Mayo

1 (plus a little) Tbs Honey (Do you like my exact measurements?)

2 Tbs Apple Cider Vinegar

Salt to Taste

I mixed all of that yumminess together. 

Now, for the grand finally! 

Obviously, I  did not put this pulled pork on buns. Instead I married my two masterpieces... 

Step One... 

Step 2...

Pork on Top!!! 

Seriously, it was so yummy. I highly recommend it!!! Even if it is only... 

I'm sure you bright souls can figure out a paleo pulled pork recipe. 

What are your posts?

This is my last post about all the political things going on on Facebook. Seriously, I have to get all this frustration with the human race out of me. I've decided that I will be deleting and/or hiding the posts of people. Now, I'm not doing it because people have different opinions than me. I think that's great. If you have a different opinion good for you! As long as you're able to give valid reasons for your opinions. Opinions based on fact, are fantastic. Opinions based on information you're being fed through the media shows that your are ignorant, and willing to believe anything. That my friends, is dangerous.

I challenge all of you to not share articles unless you can find at least 3 articles from legitimate sources that share the same facts. Think about it. When things are true. When there is something major that happens in our country there are multiple sources all reporting the same facts. Base your opinions on facts, not on the opinions of others. Don't let others dictate who you are. 

It's more than that though. 

People post so many hateful things. Hateful things against people. Hateful things against religion. Hateful. Hateful. Hateful. 

I don't know if people don't think through things, or if they don't care. Quite frankly I really think that some people are uneducated and refuse to look at the other side of things. They simply say things because that's what they were raised to believe. 

Now, I'm not saying that all people who have a different opinion are uneducated. I know many educated people with different opinions. People who are able to articulate their believes in an educated non-hateful way. If that's the case, speak on! 

Just know that as of right now the only people sharing their opinion are people who are making themselves seem ignorant, uneducated, hateful, money hungry, elitist, etc. What are your posts saying about you? 

PS: If we're not friends soon... your posts are probably not good. 

Thankful

So I'm currently blogging in the bath. Totes weird, huh? 

This is what OC does when I'm in the bath. He hops up there and makes sure the bubbles haven't eaten me. Isn't he sweet???

Anyways, there really is a reason I'm blogging in the bath. I kind of had a reality check. These happen to me periodically. It usually when my life gets "soooo hard". Please, sense the sarcasm because I realize I live a good freaking life. 

Lately, I've been frustrated about life in general. I just want everything! I want enough money that I can do what I want. I want new boots. I want some dude attention. I want people to do things my way. I want to do my work outs my way. I want to be faster. I want to be stronger. I want to eat like shit and still look good. I want froyo. I want single friends who get me. I want to party. I want to dance. I want. I want. I want.

Gah! I annoy myself I think! Then I don't get what I want and I get pissy!

Here's the thing. I feel like in our society we're taught that contentment will get you no where. You need to always be fighting and striving for the next thing. &&& don't you dare think it'll come around. Nope. You better go get it, and do what it takes to get it. Or else. 

Now, don't get me wrong... There's some reality to that. If things need to change, they won't change with out a little effort on your part (typically). BUT who says that you have to he discontent with every part of your life??? Seriously, if you're wishing for more in every part of your life you will be so freaking miserable!!! 

I think I need to be more content with my life as a whole. I have a freaking good life! I have good people in my life! I am so, so, so blessed! 

I've decided that I need to stop wanting. I need to work towards goals in a few areas, but be content as a whole. 

 I'm going to do this by being thankful. My goal is to get a small notebook that will fit in my purse. Everyday day until my 25th birthday I'm going to write down 5 things I'm thankful for. When I want I will read through those things. That's 515 things to be thankful for! 

The rules: 

It has to be applicable to my day.

It will be done in moments of frustration, anger, or wanting as applicable. 

No repeats. 

I will be specific! What I'm thankful for and why. 

Bam! This is going to be good! I'll keep you updated!

Stop Attacking Me!

I'm beginning to notice... People really have a hard time looking outside themselves. I don't know if it's intentional or if it's habit. Either way I find it quite... Disgusting.

Here's a few things that I've seen recently that makes me think that we as Americans need to re-evaluate a little  bit.Call me crazy, but I choose to believe that not everything that happens in this world is a personal attack on me. Now, the "my logic" portion is not based on fact but on my own logic. So, here are two major examples where I think that people took things more personally than necessary. 

Issue: The Affordable Health Care Act requires people to buy insurance. 

People: OMG, THE GOVERNMENT IS TELLING ME TO BUY INSURANCE! They don't know me! They can't tell me what to do! Even though me, and my family have hand insurance for the last 20 years because I understand the benefits and have a good job, but if I want to stop having insurance I don't want my government telling me what to do!

My Logic: Huh, I remember in college that they required you to have insurance, and if you didn't get your on insurance you had to  purchase their plan. There must be a reason that they make you buy insurance. Perhaps, it's because if you don't have insurance to help pay for medical expenses someone else is going to have to pick up the bill. Who would pick up the bill if someone without insurance was diagnosed with cancer? Hmmm... Well they would have to cover it if they could, but then they might go bankrupt. My guess is that the doctors don't just say "Whoops, they went bankrupt. We don't need paid!" Nope, someone is going to pay. That's why the price of treatments increase for everyone else. My guess is that some how the government even picks up part of that check. Though I'm not sure of those logistics. My assumption is that it's far cheaper for EVERYONE in the long run if people would just buy insurance. I think that maybe shouldn't be required to buy insurance, but perhaps if you choose to not buy insurance you should not be allowed to receive any medical treatment unless you can prove that you can pay up front. Get in a car wreck? Better be able to hand the ambulance your credit card while your on your way to the hospital. Better hope it doesn't get declined or you're bleeding out on the side of the road. Get cancer but don't have insurance? Well, you probably don't know you have cancer because you can't go to the doctor unless you can pay for it out of your pocket prior to. Oh, that's cold and heartless? So, you're telling me you want medical care but don't want to pay for it??? Stop asking for handouts!!!

PS: I would assume that statistically most people who don't want to have to by health insurance actually have it and have had it for a long period of time. 

Issue: The school is requiring a doctor's note before I can send my kid with a packed lunch. 

People: OMG, I'm pulling him from that school! How does this school have a right to tell me what I'm feeding MY kid! I might as well home school my kid! The school obviously does not appreciate my efforts to make my kid healthy! 

Me: So, if your kid has a medical condition you should probably just get a note. Even if they don't, call a doctor and get a note. I'm sure most doctors would write a note saying, "Due to preventatives measures being taken by this mother to ensure the health of her child, her child needs to bring lunches to school from home." That seems pretty simple. I'm sure I could call at least 2 doctors right now who would do that and probably not even charge. Perhaps, instead of teaching your kid to run away from adversity and "pull your kid from school" you could teach your kid to approach this situation in a productive manner. Call the teacher and say, "Hey, I got this note from school. I plan to get a doctors note, but want to make sure there's not concerns with what I pack little Timmy." My guess is you'd hear something like this, "No, the meals you pack are amazing! I'm jealous and try not to steal them. However, not all parents pack their children healthy lunches. There are children who come to school with leftover McDonalds or a lunch box filled with candy. We are making attempts to help the children be healthy, so we are trying to eliminate these types of lunches. However, we cannot target those families, so we have to make a rule that applies to all. Please know this isn't a personal attack." Badda Boom Badda Bing! Problem solved! 

PS: How you react to situations will impact your kids. Please for the sake of everyone in the whole world do not teach your kids to "run" when there is adversity. Do not teach kids that they don't have to follow the same rules as everyone else because you said. That teaches them they are some how superior. Even little things like this have big impacts on kids. Teach them to run, and they'll run. Teach them they get to pick and choose the rules they follow, they will pick and choose the rules. Be an adult and set an example. Don't throw a fit. More on this in the future I'm sure. 

Anyways, so there's a couple things. Mind you there are many, many more of these situations. Don't take things so personal. Think outside of the box. Understand the world is probably not out to get you. It's out to get all of us. It's equal opportunity. :)

Soccer Ball

A few weeks ago I was talkin' to some other young, single ladies in the Tragic Valley. We were CRACKING up, because we're freaking funny AND because we all agree that the man scene around here SUCKS!!!

They had red a few previous blogs. Mainly this one. We were laughing, because the kinda men I had named were the kinda men they were finding.

Then we laughed, because our standards slowly deteriorate as time goes one. At one point I said "Sandra* your standards are so low I can kick them with a soccer ball!!!" (Name changed for the protection of single ladies who aren't blogging their lives, and thus ensuring their singlehood for life.)

I've been thinking about this a bit since then, and have decided I have a "Standards Cycle". Now, at work we talk a lot about "cycles". There are "cycles" kids get in for drug use, criminal behavior, and things of the sort. We talk about how they make the decision to make a mistake, how they react after, etc.

NOW this is not exactly what we make them do, nor have I worked half as hard on this as they do. I just feel like a "cycle" describes this best. So, ENJOY!

My Standard Cycle

*** It all begins with me movin' on from the flavor of the year. (Year, because that's about how often I find someone that I actually talk to for longer than a week. Ha!) ***

Day 1: Screw him! I want a man who has a good job. Has his life together. Is nice. Is fun. Loves his family. I want a man, not a boy. I want him to be confident, and hot. He NEEDS to be SMOKIN' hot! I mean I Crossfit with some hot ass men, and I don't want anything less. AND he must eat healthy and Crossfit, too!

Day 30: ***Man of potential interest located*** Wow, look at him! He has a good job, and his life together? He's nice, he's fun, loves is family, and damn if that's not a man I don't know what is! He's confident and SMOKIN' hot! And he eats healthy. He doesn't Crossfit, but he works out. He'll Crossfit by the time I"m done with him. Oh... wait... he's married??? Well, good for his wife!!! At least I know there are good men out there. I'm sure I'll find another one soon.

Day 60: ***Another man of potential interest located*** Oh, hey! He seems nice and fun! He has a good job and loves his family. I would consider him a man. He's not "smokin' hot" by definition, but he eats good and works out. I'm sure we can take care of that uni-brow pretty easily once I have him under my spell. He's not interested??? Hmmm... Must have some uni-brow lovin' lady on the line. It's cool. I couldn't be that lady for him.

Day 90: *** Yet another man of potential interest located. *** Hmmm... He's nice and fun. He has a good job. He seems to love his family. I think that the odd shape of his face probably has made him quite the man. That's a lot to overcome. He doesn't EXACTLY eat healthy or exercise regularly... We can work on it. Let's give it a go. Huh, he's not interested? Probably gay...

Month 4: ***Man in 100 foot radius*** Well he looks like a man. Ummm... He's funny and and loves his family. He has a steady job, even if it is only 20 hours a week at McDonalds. He's been working those same 20 hours for the last 10 years! That's dedication! For the rest of the week he sits on his butt and eats McDonalds... He doesn't smell too bad though.... Really??? He doesn't want me??? Because I don't look like Miley Cyrus??? Huh...

Month 6: ***Man within 100 yard radius*** Well, he must love his family, because he still lives with his parents. He says it's temporary though. Temporary for the last 10 years. He's just about ready to fly the coop though. His mom, you know, she just really loves him. He doesn't necessarily have a "job" but he helps his mom with the lawn and laundry. And man, does he clean some whites! He is fun though!

Month 8: ***Breathing Man*** He's breathing and interested! Nailed it! He's perfect!

DISCLAIMER::: I actually have known a few cool dudes in my life. And never has "breathing" been as bad as it sounds, but 99% of the time when things end I think "Uh... what was the point of that? We are so different that there was no chance that was going to last longer than a few months!" So, none of y'all flavors of the year go getting all butt hurt.

Opportunity

I've decided I don't give a crap about politics. I care about people. I care that people are taken care of. I care that people have opportunity. I care about kids. I care that they eat. I care that they have clothing. I care that they are given opportunities for success. I care about people.

I don't care who is president. I care if the president cares about people. I don't care who in congress. I care that congress does what's in the best interest of people. 

I don't give two shits about money. I care that people are able to feed, clothe, and put a roof over their children head. I care that if a kid is sick they can go to the doctor. 

That is my "political" stance. 

That being said I think people need to recognize the advantages they had at life. I think that people need to realize that not all "boot straps" are created equal. Some people are pulling at mile long boot straps. Others are pulling at inch long boot straps. Here are the advantages I had, that not everyone has. 

I knew I would get fed 3 meals a day as a kid, so I could focus on school instead of my hungry stomach. 

I knew my parents could afford to keep a roof over my head, so I never stayed up at night wondering if we'd be evicted again. 

I knew that my parents would clothe me and those clothes would be of high quality, so I never worried if kids at school would make fun of me.

I knew that my parents would provide me with most everything I needed/wanted so I never felt the need to steal. 

I knew my parents would take good care of my little brother, so I never had to worry about taking care of him or protecting him. 

I was never cold in the winter, because I had warm clothes and my parents ran the heater.

I knew if I was sick I could go to the doctor, because I had insurance. 

I knew that if there was ever need for operations, x-rays, or scans I'd get them, because we had insurance and my parents valued our health.

My parents valued education, so I was always supported in my educational endeavors. 

My parents wanted me to have an opportunity to enjoy sports and be a kid, so they did whatever it took to allow me to be involved. 

My parents loved and supported me, so I didn't have to search for that from somewhere else. 

My parents worked hard and provided well, so I could go to college after high school instead of staying home to help support the family. 

I knew my parents would and could help in a financial pinch, so I could go to college full time and only work part time. 

I had parents who supported me my entire senior year, so I could devote myself to an internship (which turned into a job.)

I bought my first house at 23, because I had family to help and guide me towards making sound financial descisions. 

This list could go on... 

Don't get me wrong... I worked hard to get to where I am and work hard to maintain. However, my boot straps were only an inch. While other kids were wondering when they'd eat next, trying to protect their siblings, hoping they'd have a home the next day, dropping out of school to support their siblings, freezing in threadbare clothes during the winter, etc... I was living a care free life. I was throwing fits about not going on mission trips to Guatemala!!! (True story) I think people need to realize there is a harsh reality for some people. Some overcome that reality, but some struggle to do so. I think that people need to realize that we are not all born equal, and many will NEVER understand the struggles people have gone through.

Call me crazy, but maybe if people would stop judging other people and would be a supportive voice more people would overcome negative circumstances. I think that the first step is to give kids hope and opportunity. The first step to giving kids hope and opportunity is to stop bashing their families. If you tell a kid their family is "crap", they think they are "crap", thus becoming "crap". 

So, maybe people should stop being so judgmental, realize there's situations beyond their realm of comprehension, and simply be grateful that they do not have the struggles of others.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not socialist. I don't think that everyone should have to divvy their money among the rest. I think that the ability to earn money is great motivation. I do, however think that people who have opportunities need to stop thinking their so great and judging those who haven't had opportunities. I also think it wouldn't hurt for them to go as far as to be encouraging to those who haven't had opportunities. You don't have to give them money. Or hand outs. Just stop being freaking ass holes. You're talking about human beings.