Cookin'

Whoa, it's been a while! 

I've been busy schooling, graduating, hanging out with my booooooooyfriend, you know. 

All three of the following have really made me start thinking about feminism. 

Here I am an independent woman, with an MSW, and I can support myself. I am independent to the core. Then this fella comes a long and all of a sudden I'm telling someone else my plans, making plans with him, going a long with his plans, and by golly I want to cook for him. Seriously, there's just something about cooking for your maaaaaaaaan.

One day I texted Chris, after telling him I was making BLTs (aka a sandwhich), "I think my inner feminist just died."

It got me thinking, did it really??? 

I don't think so. I'm just as feminist now as ever. Feminism is about women having the same options as men. It is about choice and equality. 

If I want to cook for my man, I will. No shame. If I just don't want to cook, I won't. No shame. It is never expected that I'll cook. I cook often and Chris thanks me every time. I'm sure he appreciates it, but he has never told me I had to cook. 

Conclusion: Though I'm filling some traditional gender roles at the moment, I'm confident my inner feminist is still alive and well. 

Done. Son.

Well, it's here. The day we've all been waiting for.

Well, I've been waiting for it and I'm sure my friends and family have been waiting for the whining to stop.

My last day of internship is tomorrow.

Part of me feels like I spent the last 10 years of my life at that internship. The other part of me feels like I just started last week.

Reality is, that for the last 8-ish months, I have completed 3 insanely hard sessions of graduate school, 512 internship hours, and worked a full 40 hours every week. Ok, well maybe not every week, I took a few vacation hours occasionally when I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to find a new internship about a month in. I had Lasiks during one of those crazy sessions; seriously though why didn't anyone tell me that was poor timing? I created an awesome program for families; which meant I traveled to Nampa more than ever before. Since that isn't enough, I still managed to Crossfit at least 3 times a week, most weeks, AND I managed to have some occasional fun.

Did I mention I also got A's in all my classes and managed to get the best work eval to date?

So many people have asked me how I did it.

I don't know. I seriously do not know how anyone can survive that, and remain even somewhat sane.

I am going to school to be a clinical social worker, and if any client ever came into my office telling me they were doing all of that I would seriously want to tell them to quit something. Of course, I couldn't tell them to, but I'd want to!

The human body is amazing. The amount of adrenaline and stress hormones that I no-doubt lived off for the last 8 months is incredible. I know that living off those things isn't a good thing, but the fact that a body can perform at a pretty decent level despite all the stress is amazing.

I'm feeling it now though. I am SO tired. I slept all of yesterday, and even this morning I was STILL tired! I also am a tid bit emotional. I mean, I'm normally a cry baby, but this is definitely increased. Don't worry our professors warned us these things may happen. Your body does weird things when all those stress hormones leave.

All that said, I'm glad I did it, MOSTLY because now I have excuse to celebrate like I've never celebrated before!

I still have until October before I get that fancy piece of paper, but I feel like the hardest part is over.

I'm so grateful for my family who supported me through it all. I can't count how many times my parents came over to help my house in one way or another or my aunt, uncle, and cousins coming over to help with my fence. So awesome! And my friends who constantly supported me and made me laugh. They reminded me that I what I do is important, and that I could finish. And of course my poor co-workers who have picked up the slack and dealt with half of my brain being gone for the last 8 months, and never even yelled at me once. I can't tell you how happy I'll be to be able to put more effort into my job. Weird, I know.

It's been a crazy ride, but I did it y'all!

Now... Will someone bring me a beer. Or 20???

First Comes (body) Love

Every time I see something about body love and body shame, I instantly become conflicted. 

I think big girls, little girls, fat girls, thin girls, tall girls, short girls, purple girls, blue girls can all be beautiful.

I think that it is impossible to know health by size alone. (I'm much healthier than some much smaller girls I've met.)

I think taking steps to be healthy is important for all people.

I think (or actually know) that for some (me) it is REALLY hard to drop body fat no matter how hard you try, and it is just plain discouraging.

I think (or actually know) that people who think it's easy or who have never struggled to lose weight (losing weight and struggling to lose weight are different) typically don't get it all, and can (not always) be way more discouraging than encouraging. 

All that being said, here's my thought...

Before anyone can change, they first have to love and accept themselves enough to change. They have to decide that they love themselves no matter what size they are, but they want to be healthier. They also have to realize that the scale may be slow to change, and be ok with that because they love themselves anyway. 

In order for people to encourage others to change, they too have to love first. They have to love and accept their friends and family for who they are. They have to understand its freaking hard. They have to encourage and never shame. (Social Worker Stefani says that shame NEVER creates change.) They have to lead by example and support (Cook healthy for them, eat healthy when you eat with them, suggest fun active activities when you hang out, etc.) They also have to realize that it may take time for their friend or family member to get to a point that they are ready to make the effort to change, and love them despite that. 

I think everyone should love themselves and be healthy, but that's a personal journey and no one gets to express an opinion about either. IF someone reaches out to you for help or guidance, walk beside them and help them, but don't judge them and don't express your opinion unless you're specifically asked. 

Let's be honest, there are few things more hurtful than "healthy people" telling you how wrong you are to be "unhealthy." Especially when they have no idea what your struggles really are.  It's not always a matter of eating right and working out more. There are sometimes biological and psychological factors in play. 

So, I guess what I'm really saying is to stop reducing yourself and others to the shape of your or their bodies. A person is so much more than that. Encourage health, take steps towards health, love yourself, and just enjoy life! 

Dem Dreams

I have been thinking a lot about my career and my future lately. Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? 

I'm not sure if it's my age or that I surround myself with dreamers and doers, but I know a lot of my friends are in this stage of transition. We're all chasing dreams and making our lives happen. 

Tonight, it struck me how truly awesome that is. Do you know what it's like to be surrounded by people that inspire you to do better, be better, and never settle? To have people in your life that remind you that what you're doing is worth it? To remind your friends that it's worth it, and help them keep moving forward? 

If you don't know what that is like, find that. Find those people. Your life will change. And the truth is, that you never know who you'll inspire! My little cousin told me just a few weeks ago that I inspired her to go to college (the eye sweats waited for my car). DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW AWESOME THAT IS! Just by chasing your own dreams, you can inspire others to do it themselves. 

I hope you find that inspiration. I hope you chase dreams, no matter what they look like. Well... Maybe not dreams of being a drug dealer. But, ya know, do your thing; job security. 😉 

Read A Book

I don't know about you, but in my life there are just people I trust. People that I know I can go to for anything at anytime and they will have my back. I know that what they say to me is truth and is genuine. I know that they wouldn't lead me astray. Even if I haven't spoken to them in a while, I know that they got my back fo lyfe. One of these people moved in behind me when I was 8, and is one of the people I respect most in my life. So, when she told me I needed to read this book, I freaking downloaded as soon as the conversation was over. I knew she wouldn't lead me astray. 

To be honest, I'm not even done with the book. BUT I love it SOOOOOOOO much I feel like the world needs to know about it sooner rather than later. 

Here's a link for you to download it yourself, freaking right now. 

Sheryl Sandburg is my newest hero. She's incredible. 

It's no secret that I'm one of those evil liberals who believe in equality and helping the underdog and bullshit of that nature. It's also probably no secret that I am a damn feminist of sorts. Booooo... 

This book is slightly feminist... BUT DON'T RUN AWAY YET!!!

It's the good kind of feminist. She acknowledges that women have the right to choose how they live their lives. Stay at home mothers, career loving mothers, career loving women, etc. are equals; not one is better than the other.  Women have the option to do what they believe is best for them and their families, and that's beautiful. She also recognizes that women still aren't making as much as men and workplaces are not necessary woman friendly, AND if women want to change this then they have to do something about it. The best thing to do, become women in power. She then explains how to do this! WHAT!?!?!?!?! It's easy, it's simply, it's realistic, and you don't even have to act like a man. She also discusses specific family hurdles. It's incredible, and I love it. Any woman who is career minded, like myself, will likely be interested. She also suggests men read it too, as it might enlighten them on some dynamics. Then, after you start reading it... call me and nerd out to it with me! &&& If you hate it, well hate it in silence cuz I don't need that kind of negativity. 

I love there are so many women with different passions and goals in their lives. I love watching my friends raise their babies. I love watching some of the bad ass women in my hometown raise enough money to make over the parks in town. LIKE WHAT?!?!?!?! That is bad ass. &&& I love my career and everything that comes with being career minded. Some days I feel pretty lonely in my career minded world, but this book has inspired me to push for more and gave me faith and hope that I will achieve some awesome things some day. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH IT YET!!! 

So go read that. Also, here is a very inappropriate song that I listened too in college and felt was fitting. Don't listen with children around. 

Read a Book

Now I have to go read my school book so I have time to read Sheryl's masterpiece.

Ignorance.

Listen. Ignorance is bliss. Screw anyone who tells you difference.

I NEVER really noticed that I have an insulin deficient before. Never. Now that I've started listening to my body, I totally notice.

Which means my splurges tonight we're not a good idea. Nope. Nope. 

I have been debating as to whether or not to try this new product. I have read a lot of positive responses from people who have PCOS. I'm going to give it a shot. The worse that happens is that it doesn't work and I'm right back here.

My doctor made this sound like such a minor thing. Though it's not a death sentence, it's also not minor. It kinda sucks. Mostly because while I can try to control it, I can never fix it. It will never go away with diet and exercise. That sucks. 

BUT this is my life. And fixable or not I will still make sure I make my life as kick ass as possible. 

The deal...

Here's the deal... 

I don't want to talk about this but I feel I should. 

There are parts I refuse to discuss unless you are like super close to me and I can cry to you.

I feel the need to discuss this, because I'm finding it is discussed but it's not.

Also, it's primarily discussed when when women struggle to have babies (the part I don't want to discuss), but not before. Amd not in regards to fitness. 

There are women, like me, who have struggled with weight and million of other things and not known. Especially since it's estimated that 5-10% of women have this. 

How discouraging! People don't want to get healthy without results, and if you have this you might not see results! 

What is it? 

PCOS

The letters are less scary to me, but it stands for polycystic ovary syndrome. 

You can research the shitty parts of it, but basically it's created a new challenge for me in the fitness world because it involves insulin resistance. If I don't take care of myself I can develop type 2 diabetes.

I'm glad I know what I'm facing, but it's going to be trial and error doing it. I have enlisted a dude who seems to know something to help with my diet. We'll see. 

I definitely am struggling mentally with my body right now. I feel very broken. It'll take some work. 

So, back to why I need to discuss it... 

1. Because if I know anyone with this, it would be great to feel less alone. 

2. I have a ton of fitness crazed friends, and I could use their support now more than ever. 

3. Blogging is a form of therapy for me, and I just need to blog about it. (Even if people don't quite "get" that.)

Thanks for reading friends. ❤️❤️❤️

Yucky.

I'm sitting in my house.

My freaking clean house.

Like for real!

I paid my friend to clean my house.

N' boy did she clean it!

She's actually is still working on it.

She's the bestest.

I should be doing homework.

BUT sometimes a girl just has to blog.

This week has be rough.

I don't think that this week was special for any reason. It's just that, every day of the week is filled with work, school, internship, or some kind of combination. This kind of schedule really wears on a person.

I also feel like I have a lot of negative people on the fringe of my life. Those I associate with regularly are super duper. It's just feels like there are just people so damn negative. I don't know if this is a new thing or if it's always been like that and my filter has just became broken. I'm certainly not innocent of the negativity. It's contagious after all. I'm trying really hard to do the following things:

1. Just be nice. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.
2. When people are being mean, gossipy, rude, or otherwise just dumb, don't laugh and find a way to change the subject or walk away.

Again, I'm working on it. It's hard to do.

The truth is, that I've let the negativity seep into my life slowly lately, and it has to stop. I've allowed my feelings to be hurt by mean people, I've allowed myself to say mean things about the same people. I've been negative about other people's happiness. I've made my own misery more miserable.

I'm sure you get the idea.

All of this negativity in combination with my current stress, has made for one freaking hot mess. I feel ugly and terrible on my insides.

Yucky.

Yucky.

Yucky.

I can't say I'll be perfect, because I'm human.

BUT here's to a more positive world starting with me.

AND if you insist on being negative, mean, or otherwise hurtful, please kindly exit my life now.

PS: All I can think about right now is a bubble bath in my nice clean bathtub with my new stress relief bubble bath.

The Week I Almost Lost My Shit

This week was rough. Just plain rough.

Let me tell you a little something about "vicarious trauma" or "secondary trauma."

It sucks.

The basic idea is that when you are told about traumatizing experiences, the amount of empathy you feel causes you to also be traumatized.

I've known about this for a long time. I never doubted that it was real. I've experienced mild bouts with it. Usually I am angry for a few hours then force myself to move on.

This was different.

I can't give specifics, but I can say that I cried.

I cried for days.

I had to journal about the situation for school, and I cried.

I would think about the situation, and I would cry.

Then I got pissed at myself for crying.

So I became angry.

So angry.

At everything.

Eventually all the emotion in combination with my lack of sleep and own stress, kicked my ass.

I literally was overwhelmed by emotions.

There was no room for my emotions because I felt like I was feeling the emotions for everyone else.

So I cried.

In the bathroom at work.

Not even kidding.

After talking with one of my supervisors (I have 3 currently, ha!) I was able to identify what was going on. Then I was able to address it.

So, with extra sleep, extra "me" time, and purposefully working through the trauma...

I feel better!

I'm back to my peppy, happy, crazy, and funny self. I feel normal again.

I'm sorry for being so negative for a week, but if I do that again tell me to go to bed and take care of myself. It will be worse while I continue with this schedule, but hopefully I'll be better able to cope after this internship wraps up. I'll have more time for sleep at least.

Thanks for still being my friends. I'm so very lucky.

Nun?

Can we just get real about dudes for a moment? 

Like 100% Authentic Stefani, type of real?

K, great!

I hate them.

I hate dudes. 

But I like them. 

Trust me, being straight is not a choice. I'm just wired this way. 

If I could choose to be gay, this may be the time. 

But no thank you. 

I hate the fellas cuz I like the fellas. 

Here's the issue. 

I seem to have "Treat me poorly" written on my forehead.

I like to think my type is douchebag, so that's the issue. 

BUT I don't think that's true. 

I think I'm the problem. 

BUT I can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. 

I'm fucking perfect. 

I make my own money. I work hard. I'm understanding. I'm fun. I'm nice. My face is alright. I'm getting into better shape (Seriously, who wouldn't want to get in on the ground floor of that??? I should be smoking hot pretty soon.).

I'm sure I have flaws. I just can't bare to face them at the moment. 

Regardless, at some point shouldn't I get treated like a decent human being? 

I really don't expect much. 

You know... 

Like text if you decide to cancel plans. 

WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!

I just figured it out. 

I'm so amazing every dude thinks I can read minds. 

Maybe I should make it more clear, that I can't. 

Maybe then they'll realize appropriate times to use their phones.

And the sad part (and probably my biggest piece of the problem) is that I require people to remind me I'm worth more. 

Fucking pathetic.

It's true though. 

I am worth more. 

I don't deserve that shit.

And I'm sick of it. 

Think it's too late to be a nun? 

Don't anyone dare to seriously answer that. 

26!!!

I am so stoked for 26.

Getting older sorta sucks in some ways.

For example: I know that birthdays didn't hurt this bad at 22. 

Still, I think there's something beautiful and amazing to getting older. If you make it beautiful and amazing. 

Every year is another year to chase dreams, accomplish goals, and ensure that you age like a fine wine; getting better and better. 

This year I'm going to get my Masters. 

WHAT!?!?!

It's still insane to me that I'm going to accomplish that. 

I'm certain that will result in new adventures and new opportunities. 

I'm so excited to see where this new piece of paper takes me. In certain it'll be beautiful.

I am so insanely grateful for my life. I love everyone in my life and am in constant amazement by the people surrounding me. 

Here's to another year spent with the best people! &&& Another year of incredible opportunities. 

It's gonna be a good one friends.

"Because you need more..."

As we were waiting for class to get started on Saturday, I was excitedly telling my classmates that I had ordered the Dave Ramsey debt thing. (I still don't know the name of it, and I have no desire to look it up. .Just Google it or something.)

I was pretty proud of myself. It is a very adult move after all, and the perfect birthday present to myself! I hope that it's the gift that keeps on giving!

One of my classmates scoffed at me and said something to the effect of, "Because you need more to do in your life?" And I kind of laughed it off. Then she said, "If only I could have the 10th of drive and ambition you do." I replied with, "Haha, I'll take that as a compliment." She assured me it was a compliment.

Then it got me thinking, maybe I am taking on too much?

I hear how crazy I am a lot. Anyone who knows the crazy balancing act I'm trying to pull off or hears about it, looks at me like I have 5 heads. I often also get, "Are you still doing Crossfit, too?"

I constantly waiver on being flattered by their comments, and becoming more overwhelmed because their stress and sympathy for me stresses me out.

The comment made by classmate really made me think though, and after much deliberation I've decided that I'm not doing too much.

Here's the thing. School is important. Education is important. My career is important. BUT none of that is worth the rest of my life.

When I'm done with school, what will I have? Hopefully a new job, but what else? If I give everything else up, I'll have nothing. I'll be out of shape. Feeling crappy. Broke as shit. And have dwindling relationships with the outside world.

No education is worth that.

When I graduated from undergrad there was a time where I had a serious identity crisis. My ENTIRE life my goal was to go to college and graduate. As a naive high school-er, I knew that I would find prince charming in college and marry after graduation. Then I'd live happily ever after.

So, that didn't happen. In case any of you missed that memo.

After I graduated, I wasn't quite sure what I was living for. What would I work towards? What do you do when you accomplish your life goal? How do "adult" after living for college the last 22 years for your life?

I wish someone would have told me to do more. I wish someone would have helped me set goals beyond that graduation day. I wish.

BUT they didn't.

I refuse to do that again.

I refuse to let getting my masters be the only thing I'm working towards.

Honestly, I see my masters more as a pain in the ass life requirement than as an ultimate life goal. Totally worth it, but not everything.

This semester is going to be terrible. This semester may break my soul. This semester may be the first time that I don't "pass" a class. (Passing is an 80 or above. If I get a C I have to retake the class.) This semester might do it to me. BUT I refuse to sacrifice everything in my life this semester. I'll get through it. If I have to retake a class, I retake a class. My life will go on. The things that are important to me will still be here.

So yes, I will do more. I will be actively making sure that I'm eating healthy. I will be meal prepping. I will be trying to eliminate my debt. I will still be going to Crossfit. I will also be doing a little running. I will continue to live my life as much as possible.

BECAUSE those are the things I will have in the end.

AND I have a feeling that I'm going to be alright.

That Feels Better

I know that people always say it, "You'll feel better if you eat better." 

I have even experienced it. 

I tend to be a slower learner sometimes. 

As previously mentioned, I ate like shit through December and first of January. 

Over the last week I shaped up quite nicely. 

I have had several mostly perfect days in a row! 

I have been taking my supplements, drinking my shakes, and eating clean! 

I have been preparing dinners on my late nights. 

I've been preparing snacks for class.

I'm doin' this so, so right! 

I definitely am not a super model, but I feel so good. 

I don't feel bloated. 

I feel more energetic. 

I feel so accomplished! 

I'm excited to see where this goes from here. 

Motivation can snowball just as easily as bad behavior. The more successes I have the more motivation I have to have even more successes! 

I highly recommend making some good choices friends. Just give it a shot. 

AND in case you're curious, here's what I'm using and when...

Morning: 

Ionix Supreme

IsaPro

Natural Accelerator (when I remember)

Snacks:

Anything Clean and Yummy whenever I'm hungry.

Lunch: 

IsaPro

Snacks:

Anything Clean and Yummy whenever I'm hungry.

Between Work and Class:

Ionix Supreme

Dinner:

Something yummy and clean

Before Bed: 

Cleanse for Life 

2 Flush

Cheers to Isagenix for helping me feel fabulous! 

2 Things

This post is about 2 things. Incase you missed that. 

The good or the bad news first? 

Let's go with bad... 

Bad: Turns out that I'm going to be at internship or in school at least 2 nights a week for at least 6 weeks. Why is this bad news??? That limits me to 3 times a week at Crossfit. 😢 However will I survive? I think that it will motivate me to get my food in check a little better AND it will motivate me to run a little more. BUT so sad. So, so sad. 

Good: It's almost my birthday! I love birthdays! Love them! So fun! So great! Considering all that's going on in my life it has not be the "birth-month" I've celebrated it past years. I don't even forsee a "birth-week". BUT there will be a "birth-night" dammit! I will be going to school all day and then I'm going to celebrate all night! Or at least 'til 2! &&& this celebration will take place in G-Town Down. I know that this is probably super lame for my Twin friends, and I totes get people not going to G-Town. I just don't like the bar scene in Twin. It's kind of weird. I either need a small town or a big city, and school eliminated a weekend in Boise. After much deliberation I decided it's my birthday and I do what I want, SO Gooding it is! I'm actually super stoked! I'm going to expose a few friends to G-Town, and no doubt it'll be a blasty blast! If you're in G-Town you should come say Heeeeeeeeey!

Duuuuuuuuude... I'm gonna be 26!

Pudgy

Holy Moly... I feel like my life is finally slowing down. Just in time to go back to school!

The last month has been jam packed with so many fun things! So many parties! So many dinners! So many drinks! So many food things! So many funs! So many laughs!

AND

So many calories! So many chemicals!

It was all worth it! All of it! I regret none of it!

BUT

Now, I feel pudgy. So pudgy.

This isn't where you say, "Stefani, you look great!"

A. That's a lie.

B. I don't care how I look, I care how I FEEL! And, I feel pudgy.

My brother said pudgy is a bad word. I think it's a perfect word. I don't feel "fat" I just feel pudgy...

Anyways, for the next 2.5 weeks I fully intend on getting my game face on.

Lost of shakes and even going to attempt a 48 hour cleanse.

Cleansing is hard, but I will admit that the one time I pulled it off I felt better. I just need to make sure I put my game face on when I do it. The more entertainment I have the better. I have a lot of cleaning and projects to do around the house, so that should help. I'm pretty desperate to get the shit out of my system.

THEN, in 2.5 weeks I'm going to party my face off for the big 26 birthday!

Whoop! Whoop!

Not nearly as cool as the 25th Golden Birthday on a Saturday combo of last year, but still pretty exciting.

Then back on the wagon after that!

At least until someone else has some other reason to totally indulge and celebrate. In fact, if all the people I love could just stop having those events for a few months I'd appreciate it. I have to miss out on a lot because of school and I should control myself during others. BUT my New Year's resolution is to not do things because I "should" so controlling myself would totally be breaking that. Obviously.

Actually, this pudgy feeling has made me a bit insecure. I haven't felt insecure about my body in a long time. Not fun.

I actually had this thought when going to the hotel gym, "Man, I hope they don't all think I'm just a 'Resolution-er!'" Then I got pissed at myself and the world.

Who the hell cares if they think I'm a 'Resolution-er'? And why the hell have I ever been lead to believe it is a bad thing?

The truth is, that ever fit person you see in the gym has only "Started Again" one more time than they "Quit."

Chew on that for a second.

If I had a dollar for every time I started and quit then I'd be so rich!

So, what harm is a resolution-er doing? Maybe this is their year! Maybe this is the year they stick with it!

And if they don't...

There's always next year!

I think that we should be encouraging people to be healthy and treat themselves right! Not being ass holes and throwing a fit because we don't get our equipment as quick as we want to!

One thing about Crossfit, is that there are always opportunities to make people feel welcome and encourage them. Though I know that sometimes traditional gyms are a little different, I hope people take time to smile to the new-bees. Maybe help them out when they look at equipment like , "WTF?"

Maybe your happy face will be enough to encourage them to keep going!

You should know that I actually haven't seen much of this jerk-ness this year, but I have in year pasts. It seems that people are getting nicer and more understanding. OR I only have nice friends. Either/Or I'm winning! BUT still, I know the shaming of Resolution-ers happens, and it's crap.

That was quite the progression of a blog post...

Moral of the story... I'm don't want to feel pudgy anymore and I'm going to do something about it AND I hope others decide to make a change for the better too.



Peace Out Girl Scouts!
(Oh, maybe some Boy Scouts, too. And possibly just some people who were never Scouts. Like me. I was never a Scout.)

Stef

My Resolution

Well I did it. I came up with a resolution.

It's not measurable. It's not concrete. It's not a S.M.A.R.T. goal.

It is exactly what I need.

Last night one of my friends asked if I had a resolution, and I said I didn't but needed one. She kinda laughed at me and said I worked hard and don't need one.

In an unrelated event, it was pointed out to me that I'm super organized.

In another unrelated event I was reminded to just let life be and see where it takes me.

Then I got to thinking about what is truly important in my life.

All of these events and thoughts lead to the ultimate resolution.

In 2015 I'm going to make every moment count. I'm going to be in the moment. I'm going to be grateful for the moment. I'm going to enjoy the anticipation and surprises that life has in store. I'm going to do a little less organizing and a little less analyzing. I'm going to allow myself to feel every feeling in the moment. My happy moments will be happier. My sad moments will be sadder. I'm going to work harder in moments that require hard work and I'm going to relax more in moments that allow me to relax. I'm not going to do everything I "should" and will be ok with not being perfect as a result. I'm going to plan more time with family and friends. I'm going to make sure that I'm present for every moment of 2015, and it will be magical!